


What Day Is It?

by intothecest



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Drabble, F/M, Incest Teasing, No Sex, Pi Day, Siblings, Steak and Blowjob Day, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:13:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23144476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothecest/pseuds/intothecest
Summary: Mabel asks Dipper if there's anything special about March 14th.  There are a couple of different answers.
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines/Mabel Pines
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	What Day Is It?

**Author's Note:**

> Although I don't actually place it in the [Valenpines](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662793) trilogy it could theoretically be that series but one month later.

Dipper shovelled sugary cereal into his face while, as he tended to do, he read the back of the box and imagined all the fortified vitamins and minerals flowing into him. But when his sister walked into the kitchen, he looked up.

She didn’t. She was walking and texting, phone in her hand. After she finished her message, she went into the fridge and pulled out a yogurt. “Morning, Broseph." 

"Morning.”

Her phone buzzed to indicate a new message, and after reading it, Mabel’s brow furrowed and her face seemed to curl up in confusion. “What the hey?" She looked up, met Dipper’s eye. "Hey, Dipper, what _day_ is it?”

“Uh… the fourteenth.”

“No, I know that, but… I mean, is there something special about _this_ day? Like, a _holiday_ or something?”

He thought hard for a few seconds… it was still too early for him to be on top of his game, but then it came to him, and he snapped his fingers. “Oh. It’s _Pi_ Day.”

“Pie day?”

“Yeah… three-fourteen. The first three significant digits of the number _Pi_. People started celebrating it, for a goof. With pie. You know, the dessert, not the number." You could celebrate it at 1:59:26 to be extra special. Well, technically, .5358979 seconds after that (any _more_ exact would just be ridiculous!)

His sister thought about it, and frowned. "No… I’m pretty sure _that’s_ not it.”

“Why, what’s going on?”

“I asked Cindy if she wanted to go to the premiere of the _Betty Saturn_ movie? You know, the one based on the series about the teenage space pilot? Anyway… she said she can’t, she had to spend tonight with her boyfriend, because of the _holiday_. And _neither_ of them are exactly math geeks like you." She looked up suddenly and bit her lip. "No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But maybe you’re right… I mean, I can’t think of anything _else_ on March 14th, can you?”

He took a few more seconds, and then his eyes widened. “Um… no." And shovelled another spoonful in his mouth.

She grinned. "Don’t _lie_ to me. I _know_ you thought of something. What is it?”

“It’s… well, it’s stupid.”

“Stupid can be fun. Stupid is like next-door-neighbor to silly, and I _love_ silly. Heck, celebrating _Pi_ day is pretty silly if you ask me.”

“Well, this isn't silly it’s just… this stupid _guy_ thing.”

“So? Explain it to me?”

“It’s _really_ dumb, you wouldn’t want to know about it,” he repeated, but he could tell from her expression she wasn’t going to give up. Even if he didn’t tell her, she’d just go look it up or ask a friend, and then make fun of him for being so awkward about it. “Okay, well, I guess some time ago some guys that that since _Valentine’s Day_ is really a holiday for _girls_ … where men do everything for them, that guys should get their _own_ holiday where the _girls_ do the stuff that guys want, one month later, March 14th.”

“And what do they _call_ this man’s holiday?" His face grew warm and he could tell he was blushing… he could also tell Mabel was enjoying it, she had a self-satisfied smirk. Maybe she even already _knew_. She playfully punched him. "Come on, Dipper, spit it out.”

“Well, they call it… and I want to make it clear that I _no way_ endorse this holiday or the underlying sexism that goes into it…”

“Fine, fine… I won’t hold the ideas of a bunch of _other_ guys against you. Just tell me what it’s _called_.”

He stared into his bowl. “They call it _Steak and Blowjob Day_.”

“Oh,” Mabel said, like it was no big deal. And then she repeated it, dragging out the word, like she really just got it. “ _Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh._ And I bet I can _guess_ how it’s celebrated.”

“I _told_ you it was stupid.”

She moved over to the kitchen drawers to grab a spoon for her yogurt. “So I guess I’ve got to either wait or go to the movie alone. None of my friends who were fan of the TV show are single.”

Dipper hadn’t thought about the show _Betty Saturn_ in a while, but he actually did watch quite a bit of it while it was on. He secretly really liked it, how they weaved in a the personal drama and the big overarching science fiction mystery through her routine space academy missions, though it was full of teen angst and girl-targeted in all its marketing and he was a lot less secure in himself then... so he never admitted in front of his friends that he was a fan. Now he realized how silly _that_ was, and it was time to swallow his pride. “Well, if you can’t find anybody else to go with… I can go with you.”

Mabel gasped. “Dipper… are you asking… ME, your own _sister_ , out for _Steak and Blowjob Day_?”

Dipper’s whole body twitched like he’d been electrocuted. “What?! No, I didn’t mean it like _that_!" He was aware he was speaking very, very fast. "I just meant to go see the _movie_. Or maybe to celebrate _Pi Day_. We could have pie. Delicious delicious pie.”

“Oh… okay then… sure, that sounds good." She passed by the table and ruffled his hair, like she was acknowledging she was flustering him deliberately, and he fell right into it. Then she stabbed her yogurt open with the spoon, and started for the hallway. Then she turned back, and with a grin, said, "Just so long as you don’t get any _ideas_.”

Okay, she got him. He wasn’t going to fall for it this time. Dipper calmly raised another spoon of cereal towards his mouth and answered, easily, like he was now in on the joke, “I promise.”

“Good,” his sister said, and then he put the spoon in his mouth, and she added, “Because no matter _how_ much fun we have at the movie, there is _no way_ I’m making you a _steak_.”

With that, she flounced out of the kitchen and he could hear her walking to her room. And Dipper, despite himself, thought, _Wait, **that** 's the part she isn’t willing to do?_

And then he felt cereal-infused milk dribbling down his chin and realized his mouth was open. 

**The End**


End file.
